Some of the little figurines at the opening credits

I have not read the book (by Tom Perrotta) so cannot comment on whether the movie is faithful to the original writings, or whether it simplifies matters, or strays.

Of the movie, the first thing we learn is that the central theme is not about actual children at all, even though everyone involved seems to have a child. This is more about adults behaving like little children.

The major players .......Boy .................................. and Girl


but they each have partners -
he, a wife - totally gorgeous, intelligent and the breadwinner, she is adored by their son, and behaves for her but not for him.
The child seems to have usurped his place in her affections.


she a husband, also the breadwinner, totally out of sync with her intellect (she is studying literature) and most definitely unable to satisfy her needs
He has an obsession with internet sex, and all the trimmings, both at home and at work, to the detriment of both.


She also cannot control her daughter who responds better to the friend who looks after her intermittently.

In the local park are three women who meet with their children and have everything fairly much in control, everything is regulated, even snack time.
Like the three witches from Macbeth, they make pronouncements about everything and anything, even the house husband who brings his boy to the park
but never mixes with them (that would never do). The speculate about him and when our heroine is about to movie into his sphere of influence
(the swings where both their children want to go) issue a fateful challenge - get his name and phone number.

The two disaffected parents meet


Is it fate that has brought them together at a time when they are both feeling so out of phase with the world, outsiders, set adrift from their spouses,
aching for friendship and adult company?

In the absence of paper on which to write the phone number when she confesses what the gaggle have challenged her to do, they decide to go one better and hug.


Is the hug just that little bit too long, that little bit too close, too much like clinging to a life rope?

Not to let the moment pass, he succumbs to the temptation and kisses her.


What demon must have whispered in his ear? Did cupid prompt him? Whatever foible it was had severe repercussions.
Suddenly they became aware of a physical attraction as well as the possibility of companionship. Everything that comes later hinges on this realisation


Suddenly they are aware of a change of circumstances, a chance for something neither of them has.
Everyone, including the 'witches', flees the park as if turning their back on it will erase it.

With the concern for the future, for their situations, for their urban lives, for propriety and their respective partners, that children show, they embark on an emotional
and physical adventure that will change their lives.

They both dwell on what happened until they create a fantasy that real life cannot live up to. Like teenagers, they orchestrate further meetings under the pretence of
attending to their children. They meet all summer at the swimming pool (and we get to see him dripping wet)


A sub plot provides for a convicted child molester to enter their world. They react differently to the "normal", not so much in defending him but not being terrified like all the others.
His masculinity is also challenged by an old school acquaintance talking him into joining their football team - and quite vicious it is too. So very like children squabbling in the sandpit.
At least it gets him out of the house and away from the apron strings of his wife. He is also fascinated by the childish freedom of a gang of skateboarders and the challenge (which he cannot back away from) is what brings all their lives crashing back to reality and the dull humdrum of urban living.

Their summer fantasy is over and everyone returns to the status quo, although the wife has become aware that there is something going on so his freedom will be severely curtailed; and she has discovered her husband's obsession and betrayal so life at her place will never quite be the same. They are both forced to take on adult responsibilities, their childish philandering a thing of the past.

That's the basic story, but it's hardly a review or a discussion.

It is an unusual movie, compelling to watch as it unfolds, but a little dissatisfying in the end. The protagonists don't achieve their freedom, but seem forced to recognise their responsibilities and are left to get on with things without embellishment. Perhaps the little let down is more of a testament to our own desires that people should be able to achieve a happy ending.

There is a genuinely scary few moments when the intended rendezvous seems to be heading in a totally different direction and may deliver the daughter into the hands of the child molester. But he has his own problems and the antagonistic "friend" is suddenly brought to face not only his fears but the repercussions of his very juvenile behaviour. Instead of becoming a moment of danger, the scene becomes highly emotionally charged and sentimental.

It would be hard to categorise this movie. At best it seems to be a "coming of age" story for most of the adult characters even though they are all well past the age of this sort of epiphany.

There are a lot of issues that I have not mentioned in this early synopsis. I'm interested in hearing what others though of at first, and if there is more depth here that we can explore together.

The side issue of the paedeophile was very interesting - he was also trapped as a child even though his body continued to grow. His mother was so strict and prudish that he never escaped her - maybe she could not cope with him becoming a man, but she could control a child.

And yes, you remembered right about the self-mutilation. That sequence was well filmed/edited. She was approaching the park with her daughter who got away from her for a while, and he was approaching form another direction. You spend a few anxious moments wondering what he might do if he meets the girl, and still has the knife. It is not until the other man, the bigot who has been terrorising him as a salve to his own sense of uselessness. The combined misery of these two men brings about a new redemption for them both - as if the two destructive energies cancelled each other out.

All the adults behaved like children. The spouses of the two lovers are no less responsible for the breakdown of their marriages, and sowed the seeds of the destruction by forcing the other two into a sense of loss and limbo and each others' arms.

As for the lovers, they showed no more sense than a pair of truant school children. The naughtiness of what they were doing added to the excitement of their rendezvous. I think he only felt guilty because he relished feeling something, and it was after all his own place and his son could easily betray his secret, but on the other hand, maybe he needed that sense of guilt to empower him in the relationship. Maybe it was for that reason that he paused and took the skateboard challenge rather than complete the meeting - maybe he would not have been able to keep the same enthusiasm when the relationship was no longer a guilty secret.

Oh yes, the date scene. That was so awkward. At first it looks like it might work out, and even when he starts to go off the rails there's still some hope, but it is all dashed in the end. Both of them were outsiders, they could have had half a chance together, but it wasn't to be.

As for the bigot and the paedophile, yes, I felt there was redemption for them both. And for once in his long life of failures, he takes the opportunity to take responsibility, to become an adult.

Yes, I admit there were a few tears when they finally came to their realisations and some understanding. Maybe that was the power that made this movie feel "good" rather than the mainstream story which is almost a blind to this one.

What really annoyed me though, quite early in the movie, when we first meet the mother and her child at the park. When she can't find the snack she thought she had packed, the daughter hits her about the head. Not only does she not admonish the child but looks apologetically to the other women and they are all judging her rather than being horrorfied at the child's bechaviour (Okay, it is her fault for letting the daughter get away with it, but...)
If that had ever happened to me, my kid would have scored a rather sharp smack to the back of the legs (open hand - not considered beating, hurts the deliverer as much as the recipient but the shock is sometimes enough to stop the child) and immediate return to the house.