Emilie wrote:
hannah kipje said:

Try to see how your 'relationship' with James is completely apart from her relationship with James. It does not affect your 'relationship' with him at all. It makes absolutely no difference to your life whether he is married or not and to whom.

I love this statement, Hannah! Sometimes I struggle with having a crush on a famous actor, and this advice definitely helps put it into a better perspective. image

It helps in any other situation with jealousy as well.

The fact that someone sels is better at something does not make you less good. It makes you just as good as when they had not been there. It may means they win the first price that you could have won if they were not there, but winning first price in that case would not have made you better at whatever it was you were competing for then you already are.

(It just means their talent is a bit bigger than yours. That is a god given thing, so that is not their 'fault' so there is no reason to 'punish' them for it either)

If you can see that difference it might be easier to be happy for them instead.

If you are competing over a friendship with a third person it is the same thing. Your relationship with this person is separate from their relationship with this person. Sometimes your contacts with friends gets less because they have more contact with someone else. It does not mean they like you any less than they did before. It may mean they like the other person better, but that is no ones fault, so no one is to blame. It is just the way relationships are always in motion. If you do not get angry because of your jealousy, but just cherish the moments you do still have with this other person, their attention may motion right back into your direction some day as well. But even if it doesn't, when one door closes, another one opens somewhere else. So when you start seeing one friend less, you will start seeing another one more. Or a new one may pop up that fits you better anyway.
If you learn to deal with life's little setbacks in this way, there will be less jealousy and therefore less pain attached to them. Life will become easier.